Hire a black man to be your friend!

Being a black man, there are things that I can only imagine. For example; sometimes, I would imagine that being white is not all it’s cracked up to be, and being a white man can just be a downright drag. You’re expected to act a certain way, do certain things and most of all, you’re supposes to have a certain group of friends who look like you and act like you. Sometimes when you think you have it all then you realize that there is one thing missing. Diversity!

Are you looking to demonstrate how diverse your friends are? Do you want to add a little Funk to your dysfunction? Well you can now “HAVE A BLACK MAN AT YOU PARTY! For a small negotiable fee, I would come to your party and be your very close black friend from childhood or just a guy who you met and it just seemed to click. You could even tell them that I was the houseboy from your fraternity days (that costs a little more). Put your liberal friends to the test or piss off your conservative ones and have a nice laugh while doing it. You will be the talk of the boardroom and the bedroom for weeks to come. Show them that you can kick it in all circles, show em that you can get down with your bad self. And this ain’t no Carlton from Fresh Price kind of black man. I can play various black stereotype like the “pull myself up from my bootstraps black kid from the projects” or ‘the convicted felon on the road to going straight. This can be hours of fun without any real danger.

Together we’ll create a back story or a "black story", Photoshop photo album featuring a wide variety of shots that might include; you and me as kids or at an Earth Wind and Fire concert, double dates at the prom, shots of us from The million man march, and many more. We’ll tell old jokes that only the other knows and we can even work out a scene from “The Defiant Ones”
Don’t delay, the party season is here and I’m booking quickly. Remember, I do birthdays, holidays, bar mitzvahs, weddings, and sweet 16 parties. Don’t let your lack of pigmentation get in your way order today. Sure you’re white and you don’t know any black people at all, well that’s ok because now all of your friends will think you do, And don’t worry, it can be our little secret.